"You reap what you sow"

The biblical teaching of you reap what you sow is not just biblical it is a life truth. What you make your priorities in life is what you are going to get back to you. If you are constantly too busy to help anyone, then others are going to be constantly too busy to help you.

I can't be more thankful for the people and opportunities I have in my life now because of what I've made my priorities to be.

I heard from a church leader and someone I look up to that people tend to place their priorities in life

To be shallow or not to be shallow... Is that really the question?

I love it when I talk to other girls about the kind of guys that they want in their lives. It's almost like they have no expectations of who they want to be with for the rest of their lives. I always hear the answer, " I don't care what they look like, I'll take whatever God gives me."

Well that's awesome and all that you are willing to follow God's will. I firmly believe that God put in you what you desire in a guy for a reason. So, those are the qualities and expectations you look for in a guy. YES I'M INCLUDING LOOKS INTO THIS. There is a certain special and spirtual desire in your heart for what you want your significant other to be like. There is this expectation that you have for them.

Why settle for less? If I want a super cute guy that is super tall and has a lot of muscles, and he is funny and caring, he has a heart of gold. Loves to travel... LOVES kids. Has a heart for God and wants to grow in his faith, then that is what I expect and want in my life. I won't and refuse to settle for any less than that.

Is that a bad thing to EXPECT those things from man in my life?

Is it bad for YOU to expect those things from a significant other in your life?

No, it's not a bad thing at all, and if anyone calls that shallow, then I'll take being shallow any day before giving my heart out to every guy I see around town. I rather my heart not be shredded into a million pieces and not have a heart to give.

I love myself. I love who I am. I love who God created me to be. I love each and every desire that God has put in my heart and spirit. I love the guy that God has made for me. I don't know who he is yet, but I know he is out there... and I know he loves me too. I pray for him. I wish the best for him and that he is living his life for God and that God is preparing our lives to someday be together. Until then I will be patient and just prepare my life for whatever is to come in it.

Please excuse my double standard

There is only one thing worse than an insecure girl, and that's an insecure guy that acts like an insecure teenage girl.

You know ladies, the kind of guys that I'm talking about here. The ones that are ten times more jealous than the insecure teenage girl that checks her boyfriends phone anytime he leaves her in the room with it. The ones where they feel the need to "claim their territory" and won't stop touching you in public. BECAUSE YOUR HIS GIRL AND HE WANTS THE ENTIRE WORLD TO KNOW IT.

I've dated my fair share of guys like this and I know many other girls that do/have as well. Luckily for me I got out of the relationship quick enough for it to affect how I think about guys in general. As for my friends, many of them weren't as lucky even after many of us girls warned her about THOSE kinds of guys.

Here are some signs if you are with a guy that is secretly an insecure teenage girl:

1. He constantly has to be touching you in public, even after you told him it makes you feel uncomfortable. It could be his arm around you, he keeps kissing you on the cheek, won't let go of your hand, has to be anywhere and everywhere you are... you literally had to tell him to stay out of the women's bathroom.

2. He won't let you hang around any guy besides him, ESPECIALLY if you're alone with a guy.

3. He only uses "big words" in public/around your family/around your friends (which leads me to the next one...)

4. The only friends he really has is YOUR friends. You know the friends that after you and him break up they wouldn't be his friends anymore.

5. He doesn't ever do anything on the weekend. Always at home wanting to hang out with you and angry when you go and hang out with your girlfriends because he's scared that some guy is going to hit on you (which will most likely happen) and you're going to flirt with him (which will most likely happen too).

6.  He won't stop calling or texting you. He constantly has to know where you're at and what you're doing.

7. All your girlfriends are telling you to break up with the guy, that could possibly be a sign. There has to be SOME reason that your friends/family/people in your life are telling you that he's not good for you and you need to stick up for yourself and get rid of him.

8. He calls you crazy. NO GUY SHOULD EVER CALL YOU CRAZY.  If you geniunely are crazy then you probably wouldn't be reading this right now. If he calls you crazy then that's because he feels threatened about something that is going on. He needs to grow up and get a clue.

9. He constantly talks about his ex girlfriends to try to get you to feel bad/do something. Boy, don't even go there.

10. He's under the age of 22. Yeah that could possibly be a clue because guys don't normally get to the point in their lives where they are ready to settle down until about that point in time.

Do yourself and everyone in your life that are going to be hearing your complaining and get rid of him... FAST. He's not good for you, he's not healthy for you. Just stay away...

Now, I am by no means saying that ALL guys are like that, I'm just saying these could be signs that they are like this. Not all guys under 22 are insecure teenage girls, there are exceptions.

Girls can be awful and mean and well awful too. So don't even think about getting on the defensive. lol. I'm really not in a bad mood or anything. I was just listening to someone complain about insecure guys and I decided that would be something I sure can rant about for a bit. So enjoy.

Old Fashioned Romantic movies

What happened to the old fashioned romantic movies? You know, the ones where about half way through the movie they know that they like each other but they won't ever admit it. The one where all you really want them to do is have their first kiss and you are rooting for them. Then when they have their first kiss it's like magic. The guy is a complete gentlemen and the woman is a lady. The kiss and smile at each other and it's a happy ever after ending to the movie.

Movies now hardly leave anything to the imagination. I don't know about you guys, but I do know this. Your imagination is a powerful tool. Things are so much better/intense when they leave it to your imagination. That's why I think reading horror novels are ten times scarier than seeing a horror film. Because you take the time to invest in your imagination to let it ponder and think.

Why do you think Inception was so awesome? Not only was the acting AMAZING, but the ending of the movie left everything to the imagination and you could interpret how you wanted the movie to end. You made your own ending. You made your own movie. It's like you got to have a say in how the movie ended. You discussed it with your friends and you invested time into it. We tend to love things we invest our own time into, because if we hate it then somehow it wasn't worth it and that means we wasted our time from the very beginning.

I love old fashioned movies. I wish it was more like that instead of movies like Saw showing the brutal details, where the only reason people see the movie is to watch the gore and because they've invested time in all the other movies they continue to watch the series. I want it to go back to being creative and letting us decide how it ends.

-Jen

Glamorization?

          One of my biggest pet peeves about media today is how they glamorize stupid people. How many of us would actually be friends with any of the people on Jersey Shore? I should rephrase that to, how many of us would actually hang out with these people because we think they are SO COOL. Would they still be cool if they weren't famous and on TV all the time, and people didn't talk about them all the time? Would they be people that you saw on your school campus or in public and you would think, " oh that person looks like someone I want to get to know"?

         I can't stand how the media takes all these people that really do absolutely nothing with their lives and makes them seem so cool and awesome. All the girls want to be them and all the boys want to date them (and vice versa). Their lives aren't that amazing. You think they've actually done something fulfilling in their lives? When was the last time they took time to get to know a stranger? When was the last time they sat down with someone and just asked " What is your life story?" when did they care about someone other than themselves?

         People glorify these "celebrities" like they are a god. Then they wonder why their own lives are messed up, they wonder why they think some of the things that they think... or even say some of the things that they say.

        There has been this long debate on how the media affects our lives as human beings. Does action movies make us want to go out and kill people? Well not necessarily. But it is proven that whatever you fill your life up with is what you put out into other people's lives.

         When you get angry do you swear? Why is it you swear when you get angry? Well, think about that for just a second... where did you get that from and what made it OK to suddenly spout swear words when your angry but it's not OK any other time? You justify it because you're angry.

         Or how about sex has suddenly become JUST sex. That people now think of it as just something that happens, that we do. Then we feel the need to fall into this category and even take time to CONSIDER having this thought ourselves about sex. Or that we have to have sex with someone because we need to know if it would work out between that person. Well let me tell you, if you need to have sex with someone just to prove it will/won't work out with them... IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK OUT. Sex won't be the deciding factor on that scenario. So just stop while you even think you're ahead.

         The media glamorizes so many things and if we aren't careful we will find ourselves doing the exact same things by our actions throughout the day. They start with suddle changes in our lives then all of a sudden we get to this point where we have to ask ourselves... How did I ever get here? Where did all that go? I never used to be like this.

         Point being, watch what you are putting into your lives. We all know the Golden Rule, right? Do unto others as they do unto you? Love your neighbor as yourself. All that awesome business.

        Well if you want to be happy with yourself then you need to respect yourself.

-Jen

I've decided...

I'm going to do it. I'll take pre-med classes and get ready for podiatry school. I can't live my life for other people, I'm going to have to make decisions for me every now and then. There is a much bigger plan for me than all this ping ponging and confusion in my brain.

Confusion is not of God. I have to keep reminding myself of this.

Well, time to go work some stuff out.

It has come to my attention...

Here's the deal. I love to learn. I love everything about cracking open a book and expanding my knowledge. I just REALLY hate school. Maybe it's not so much about school itself. Maybe it's the fact that I get bored so easily with stuff that doesn't truly challenge me. No I don't have straight A's... but I could easily have straight A's if I actually put my best foot forward and tried. Honestly, I don't try... at all. I miss a lot of class (this semester it was honestly due to being sick and freak things happening) and I'm bored. My major is fun, it's cool... but that's it. That's all it is to me. It's not fulfilling. It doesn't make me want to crack open a book to learn about it. I mean... yeah I want to know more... but why? Because it's cool and interesting.

So what makes me tick? Why am I in denial of a few things? Well truth be told, what I really want to do I'm TERRIFIED of doing. Because I literally spent my entire life telling myself that I was dumb. That I'm not smart and I could never do something as awesome as be a doctor, or a lawyer. So what did I do? I coward in my little corner and turned to something that wasn't fulfilling. They are great hobbies, awesome stuff to know and could come in handy some day. But is it a career worthy choice for me? Radio, TV, Dance? any of those?

None.

That's right...

None.

So what am I going to do now? As my student loans build up and my GPA falls because I'm too much of a coward to study what I really want to study?

Suck it up and just do it? Believe that I can do it? Would I be willing to put all that work into doing something so hard? Could I do it? I would be in school until I was 30 (this is not an exaggeration) I would have to move away for a while... I love the church I go to now. I love the friend I have now. I'm in such a good place emotionally and spiritually. I'm scared to leave all this.

I just want to believe in myself... and I want someone to believe in me. I'm tired of people telling me to be realistic or people telling me what I can and can't do. Can someone just please tell me that they support me and will help me and will be there for me?

When will I stop being a coward and what will it take?

Getting to know me.

When I read blogs I like to know more about that person behind the screen. Here's a little bit about me for your enjoyment.

I'm a pretty open person and I don't mind people asking me questions. I may not answer some of the really personal ones because this is a blog that I anyone can read and I rather not divulge my deepest darkest secrets. heh...

So I looked up some random questions. Here they are:

What is your earliest memory?

I don't know what my earliest memory is because I can't remember how old I was when these things happened. If I had to guess which memory was the earliest it would probably be when my dad came home from work with a kitten, our now 19-year-old cat Freckles. I remember arguing over what her name was going to be and my mom said to my brother and I, "I'm going to name her and her name will be Freckles because it looks like she has freckles on her nose. There!" Heh. I remember that so clearly.

Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid.
 I miss the only thing I had to worry about was learning how to ride a bicycle.

What was your favorite musical group when you were in Junior High?
N'SYNC!!! oh baby!

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? 
Funny enough I love feet. I loved feet when I was younger. I would play doctor on my dad's feet all the time. hah!

What was your favorite childhood injury?
I have this huge scar on my knee from running and falling off the porch and scrapping my knee on this metal thing at my grandmother's house.
When was the first time that you had beer?

As Dane Cook would say here is a FF (fun fact) for you. I have NEVER had alcohol. I am 21-years old and I have never had alcohol. I must say I don't feel I am missing much.

What is your worst dating experience?
The guy got high on our date, and was texting my really good friend (Melissa) the entire time. Which I will say that he wasn't that interested in me anyways and after he pulled a 360 in his truck in the mall parking lot I knew it was time to go home. lol.

Was there ever a time when you were frightened for your life?
Actually, I have a couple of times that I was scared for my life.
Story one: Some men broke into my house while I was there by myself. It was so scary. I was in my bedroom with the lights off hiding. Later I finally got out of the house and the entire area was surrounded with cops. One of my neighbors saw the truck in the driveway and how it had been sitting there. Someone was watching over me that night.
Story two: I had appendicitis for two days before I got it removed. I thought I just had the stomach virus because I couldn't keep any food down. I felt really sick and hurt really bad. The pain wasn't getting any better and I knew there was something wrong. I was pretty scared. Although, after I went to the doctor's office they gave me some pain medicine that completely knocked me out. By that point I didn't care what they did I just wanted the pain to go away.

What outdoor activities do you like to do?
I grew up on a farm, a sheep farm to be exact, and I love helping my dad feed the animals and take care of them. I don't get to go home much but I do enjoy those things when I am there. I love running in parks. Swimming, I enjoy fishing. lol. I'm an outdoors kind of person.

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death?my faith. God is very important to me. I want people to see how God used me and see God's love through me. I want people to remember me as being a true believer and remembering God's love. I'm not a preachy person or anything like that. But this is just one thing that I want people to remember. God's Love.
Do you have any phobias?Bees. I sprained my ankle a couple of times from running from bees. 
Do you feel you have a purpose or calling in life?
My purpose is to show God's love and to pray. Everything else will fall into place if I just have faith and trust God.

Name three exotic countries you would like to visitWhat exactly is considered exotic countries? I'm going to have to look this one up. oh ok, on that note. I would like to visit Egypt, Israel, Vietnam, Nepal, Greece, Turkey, China... oh right I was only supposed to say three, heh.